AMAZING TOO

The lineup is amazing. Three of the world's leaning cosmologists and one
windbreaker. A fifth due in on a flight from Mars hasn't made it through
customs seemed to be hardly more than a big bag of smelly gas when the
big dog started coughing. Two others emailed in to say they were
withdrawing from the competition. Leaving only Harry to arrive and
here he is coming through the door in a hurry, stacks of documentation
tilt at hard angles, carried on a makeshift dolly which is cranky, hard
to steer, groans every 20 cms or so, keeps bumping the walls.

"Put the dolly here, against this wall, so I can sort the important stuff
when needed", instructs Harry. The cell phone with complete data indexes
and attached to the internet by wireless, was left outside with security
along with the guns from the conspiracy theory faction.

One of the three leaners (leaner 3) had come over to chide and taunt,
it seems, because this leaner had only one small briefcase, carried in
an arm, tucked under an armpit. One piece of paper sticking out. The
leaner snatched the paper corner, removing it in one fraction of a
second intact from the closed briefcase, and handed it to Harry. Harry
glanced at the sheet, scrumpled it, tossed it after the departing leaner
the paper bounced off the leaner's back. She didn't even notice.

The rules are simple, said a large sign over the entrance to the main
conference room. No one lies. No one cheats. No one submits bogus
formulas. A graphic-inserted question mark on his head, a picture of
the great saint Einstein is beside another one with Einstein's tongue
really sticking out (these were two of three Einsteins that had been on
the Internet on every science news site advertising pay for test IQ score
lessons).

At the head of the hall was a table borrowed from a world champion chess
meet which had finished up the hall earlier that week. On the table was,
permanently festooned, the two button clock each contestant was to use
during their faceoffs.

A gong signalled the arrival of the modifyer in gold robes and before you
know it, sitting in the high thrown above all on the wall behind the table,
and struck the buddha bell to announce begin. Two very serious lookers
came out from tiny doorways in the walls heading straight to the table,
no fuss no delay every second counted the clock was already ticking.

The windbreaker was the first to demonstrate speed, opening the proposal
folder before the leaner had even sat. Striking the button with a ring
covered finger the windbreaker leaned back, fondling long braids curled
donut shaped around the great cranium, folded on the back.

The leaner dropped the platter with equipment on it. Bang on the bell
called the buddha bell - a penalty for making noise. The windbreaker's
turn, the windbreaker had the proposal out before the echoes of the
bell had lingered out in the rear corners of the room. Flip, then flip,
flip flip...flip ahhhhh theee page. "Gravity increases its effect over
contracted distance", the windbreaker announced, then struck the button
on the clock with hardly a glance from the index finger. It is obvious
that the windbreaker has been in these contests before.

The leaner still had not acquired all of the equipment back on the platter
so lost a couple points more before straightening up, and picking up a
small silver ballpoint pen, stroked it slowly, lovingly, while saying in
a voice that matched the loving, "this here device will send a man to the
next star and beyond" said the leaner. "What about woman" someone shouted.
"Humans too", replied the leaner. "It", stroking the long silver pen once
more again, "draws energy from the big bang itself", said the leaner,
gently, carefully, laying the pen down on it's piece of cloth, and
struck the button.

Instantly windbreaker was on the alert noticing the time with one eyeball
fixed rigorously on the clock while surprising everyone with a brand new
tack, one that had not been pre-announced in the press. "If two brass
balls are accelarated in space, which will strike its target first".
This was startling because everyone knew the two would strike together,
due to gravity. "Gravity is NOT! the same for every object" spoke the
windbreaker in an even louder voice than by another leaner the previous
evening cutting through the noise of a giant disco before the bouncers
intervened after the fight broke out with leaner number 3 and Harry.

The windbreaker stabbed the button with lightening speed, catching
leaner number 1 completely by surprise, who could only coax another
object from the cache on the platter and hold it up, stammering slightly
not quite ready ...."and THIs! counts the number of photons crossing
space from the next star every second". The device looked for all the
world like a grade school's pencil sharpener made of bright plastic
colors. With it, is prOOF! that"... gong! the buddha bell sounded
sharply. "I must caution you that only devices that do something can
be used", said the moderator. "It does" replied the leaner looking up
neck back to the giant chair high up on the wall, "This makes pencil
points so fine they can be used to separate the tiniest differences to
be found between any photons, even those that seem to be the same, but
are not", said the leaner, striking the button.

Instantly the windbreaker was back bucking speed, describing how the
two brass balls are lined up identically at right angles to the Earth's
center so that, out here, at a reasonable distance removed from the
atmosphere of Earth, a giant blade can push both simultaneously giving
each an equal thrust straight toward Earth, the one brass ball the size
of a ping pall ball, the other the size of a house, but solid, and more
or less perfectly round. On went the windbreaker making sure everyone
understood the fabulous contruction of the balls so that no anomalies
or irregularities can interfere with it's (each ball's) results.

Having finished the setup, the windbreaker closes by striking the
clockbutton with a bit of flurish. The sweeping second hand comes
abruptly to a halt on the windbreaker's side of the clock.

"What happens when a tangled photon is absorbed in an atom the other
photon speeding away in the opposite direction where there are no
atoms", hoots the leaner in a stentorian voice. "But, that is only
a stray question", concludes the stentorian voice.

The leaner is already in motion even as the windbreaker's flat open palm
had decended hard down on the clockbutton. A yoyo is dangling from a
string on one of the leaner's fingers, the yoyo sereptitiously having
been fit through its noosy string when no one was paying attention,
but everyone is now, because the yoyo is going out, farther, and
farther, in fact right out an open window, and doesn't come back.
"Does anyone understand what I am saying", says the leaner, rapping
the clockbutton with the back of the left hand. The right hand still
has the yoyo string tied in a noose and stuck on something taut
outside the window.

So far, the two second hands show about equal time, hardly more than a
minute, the penalty the leaner lost for loosing his tools at the startling
lowcard draw has been made up by bonuses scored when the yoyo didn't come
back, catching everyone including the moderator in midsentence in thought.

Not wasting time, the windbreaker is into the next phase of the setup. It
has become clear the windbreaker is going to have to spend some time in
further setup and every bit of time costs, bonuses are lost when setups
take too long. "And over here, straight toward Earth, we have a giant
plate, so heavy, so solid, it cannot be moved by even an intrinsic
fraction of a measure when struck by the two balls, all that can happen
is the two balls flatten against the plate as their kenetic energies
convert to heat. The instant each ball makes first contact with the
giant plate is what counts, the count accurately accounting the major
differences in diameters so that mathematically each leading edge is
correctly factored for first contact, which explains the wires to the
battery, this is the timer, superconductive, I might add, because
not a fraction of time can be wasted or lost in the calculations".
Bing! That was the clock - windbreaker is finished round three.

"What do you think happened to the yoyo", the leaner asks, wasting not
a second at all. Bing! The leaner has cut round three short and has
gained a bonus point in the shortening of time, in fact a second bonus
for asking a legitimate question so soon into the setup stage of the
competition.

The windbreaker was back in fastspeak so fast the words tumbled almost
a rasp like a rattling window would make in a tremor so fast were the
words tumbling out for the windbreaker had been caught off guard by
the leaner's bonus in time. It was not critical to the windbreaker's
pledge to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth,
nevertheless seconds do add up. "With everything in place", announces
the windbreaker, small thin forefinger straight up in the air, waggling,
"we proceed by giving the two balls an equal shove with the giant blade,
not a hard shove, just enough to smoothly evenly accelarate them to
10 kilometers an hour, then set them free, the blade comes to a stop.
At a slow velocity of only 10 klicks per hour special relativity
transformations are meaningless".

A sheet of paper is quickly flipped. "And, we have our observations.
The two balls start on their equal parallel journey straight toward
earth high up here above the atmosphere, in space. Lateral journey
- the orbiting - is already taken into adjustive responses for all
parts of the apparatus so transversal motions are meaningless, they
have no effect. I could have made both balls of identical size, one
of foam, the other of brass, but two brass of different sizes are
more challenging in details, because of gravitational tides which
have to be woven in the threads of mathematics", finishes the
windbreaker, hitting the clockbutton faster than 10 kilometers
an hour almost breaking the fucken thing. The 'woven threads of
mathematics' is worth an extra bonus, decrees the moderator, no
one has used this cliche before.

For the next round the leaner has chosen to switch to inch standards,
says the announcer, broadcasting to world listeners from a hunched
over stance with earphones on and attached mike in mouth, from a
few feet back from the table, speaking to the world in lowvoice
so as not to compromise the competitors.

"Picture each inch of the yoyo gaining and loosing a phase variant
increment in gravitational power as it moves toward another star, and
galaxy, then dropping the gain again as the yoyo moves away toward the
next star and galaxy beyond. Each gain is because the yoyo's gravity
force increments by gravity relativity each new area of increased
gravity encountered, relative to our stationary point of observation,
the yoyo's rest state mass already incremented by the yoyo's own
gravity, which travels along with the yoyo in a blissfull rest state
and binding energy combined, the binding enery the augmented power of
gravity in the decreased gravity constant created by the yoyo's own
rest state mass. How now do the miles add up". Bing!

Apparently the windbreaker had not even listened to this last bit,
having sat with finger on lower lip and looking everything like a
born again on TV getting ready to read another passage from the bible.
Removing the finger, leaving a wet spot, the windbreaker procedes to
describe how the two balls now, having both been equally accellerated
with no regard to how much kilo-newtons were expended to accelarate
each, its only the resulting velocity that counts for everything, the
windbreaker reassured the purists in the audience, looking to them in
a quick sidelong glance just to make sure they knew he was aware of
their telepathic hits. "In the purest terms, the velocity does not
change once the two balls are set in motion heading toward Earth. The
velocity in orbit will increase accelarating, proportionately, sideways,
as the two balls continue straight ahead on their journey. But that
velocity comes from the Earth's gravitational field and the two balls
approaching closer into it so we can ignore it. Instead, we concentrate
solely on how fast the two balls travel toward the giant steel plate".
Prang! ohshit missed the button struck the clock prang! again the
windbreaker seems a little off stride, too many telepathic hits from
the feedback in dismissing the input of accelarating in orbit, well,
in fact, dismissing the orbit. Bang! or rather, bing!, this time the
windbreaker got it right.

Someone at home, trying to keep up, was picturing the two brass balls
falling from the tower of Pizza, and both hitting the ground with
two soft plumps simultainiously, leaving much disparate impact
crators in the contruction sand surrounding the Pizzas.

Lucky Francis in the same room was seeing an astronaught at the new space
station leaving dock with a tether out to its far end and reaching with
thick gloves slowly into a sidepouch withdraws a penny then with the
penny gripped between thumb and forfinger and the glove raised up to
eyelevel, the Earth away in space behind the glove, the astronaught
releases the penny by the simple expediancy of opening the finger/thumb
conjunction, and, the penny vanishes in the split second of an eye
taking off to find where it is supposed to orbit having so much less
mass, no! wait! velocity is identical for all objects at same distance
from a gravitational body there is no mass in the period per orbiting
distance laws of thermodynamics including gravity. Witness the penny,
staying exactly in the same place in space between the thumb and
forefinger and framed by the curve of the glove frozen in freeze
frame, the tiny penny is orbiting at exactly the same speed as the
glove, the astronaught, and the supergiant new space station nearby,
all five objects are necklacing in identical arc distance in orbit
from earth... 'the mass makes no difference'... Francis almost brain
farts, thinking in midsentence for a second time, then completes the
thought, which is, mass does not exist in solar fluid orbiting dynamics,
at all.

"Back to the leaner", the announcer drones on, "what is the leaner
going to do now that the listeners have been left contemplating a
yoyo that changes gravity constant, relative to an observer on Earth,
as the yoyo moves farther and farther into deepspace. Ooooo the waiters
are silent in the room, wait... wait...".

And, yanking hard on the string, back comes the yoyo flying in through
the open window to land with a smack snuggly back in the leaner's hand.
"Picture the Sun, sitting in rest state, its gravity turned on, its rest
state gained by extra binding energy formed from the Sun's own gravity in
well known relativity principles. Looking out into deep space, we know
that time has been shrunk around the Sun by that turned up rest state,
and that space has equally and proportionately shrunk by the same tiny
amount caused by the Sun's gravity. Out there, the same is happened
at the next star, time slowed, space contracted, by that star's own
relativistic gravity, and the next star beyond, and the next beyond,
at each next beyond, space contracted and time slowed by more
relativistic increments. How far do you want to go".
Bing!

Zing! went the windbreaker into animation in overdrive, driving the
two forefingers forward toward a strike against an invisible giant
barrier... "here they come, the two balls, closing in, closing in,
closer and closer, and wham they strike the barrier, melding into
lumps of metal, both arrived at exactly the same instant in time
because local gravity - for instance the Earth - accelarates all
things at exactly the same rate of time, per local gravity. But
does it"? asks the windbreaker, using a mysterious tone, the kind
everyone uses when asking a retorical question on TV in policital
debates between presidential candidates on TV, or, at least, they
are supposed two, most presidental and prime ministerial candidates
simply shout and argue till time is up. These tones coming from the
windbreaker are more like swapping marbles in the mall.

"Turn it around and ask: does each ball attract the Earth at the same
proportionate power according to each ball's rest mass and this means
mass at rest not moving. What if, what if"... the tone gets more
inductive to attention getting... "gravity is different, one ball
to the other. Picture the status quo - the gravity of the Earth is a
constant power acting on both balls identically so that both accelarate
toward Earth at the same rate, and gravity in the giant plate marginally
adds it's bit of accelerant equally to both. However". Bing Bing Bing!
three times for seeming no reason save special effect the windbreaker
strikes the clockbutton.

In comes the leaner, charging straight into an apparent victory for
the windbreaker has not said anything new, yet. "With space inexorably
contracting with each added increment of space with gravitational matter
in it, and time inexorably declining, slowing down, concommittant with
each extra unit of space with matter in it, add this to the components
of light itself doppler shifting blue as it approaches a gravitational
body, and then in reverse red shifting as it pulls away, intermix these
components to all, summarizes in a final mess, what is the remaining
outstanding uniqueness after everything involving gravity change by
gravity itself, is added and subtracted, so that some final modifying
effect is left over modifying substantially our none gravity steady
state universe view when everything is viewed only in terms of rest
states alone before relativity transformations have intrinsically
kicked in, modifying the rest states". Bing bing bing strikes the
leaner on the clock button three times just to get even, and to make
sure that striking the clock more than once is not worth an extra bonus
or two, one never knows these days how the rules keep changing every time
a committee meets to plan the next contest.

Neither one has yet run into overtime in their cycles on the clock
although this time, speaking very slowly drawing out the concepts, the
leaner had come dangerously close missing a penalty by less than a second.

"Now then", begins the windbreaker at once in a much different tone,
feeling imminent victory: "We know the two balls travel at constant
equal speed accelarating constantly due to the constant single
accelarating force of the Earth, and the giant plate. except, the
heavier ball because of its own gravity accelarates just a wee
bit more and we account for this, the equations are easy. However,
they are not accelarating foreward, the accelaration is taken up
by increased velocity in orbit so that the radial distance velocity
straight toward Earth stays the same. However"... a slight uppitch in
the anticipated imminence of the win... "each ball has its own gravity
and its own gravity relativity transformations built it, three of which
will directly effect which ball ACTUALLY!!! arrives at the giant plate
first (three fingers are waggled vigorously in the air). The rest state
of each ball increases by a calculatable amount by the relativistic power
of its own gravity, (down goes one finger), each ball's cross section
radius decreases by a calculatable amount, (down goes a second finger),
and the time it takes each ball to travel to the giant plate takes longer
due to time slowed by a calculatable amount, (down goes the third finger).
Since the rest state mass of the larger ball is greater by several orders
of magnetude, the beta relativitistic effects by its mass will be
proportionately larger, resulting in the ball taking longer to get
there, the shrunk radius taking longer to make contact with the giant
plate triggering the instant of arrival signal, however, the extra
increase in mass is external to each ball since there is no room inside
for extra mass to fit over rest state, and this external mass operates
as a second gravity acting on, attracting the giant plate, and the Earth,
the external extra gravity acting in more attraction for the large ball
over the smaller. Minus two larger diminishments for the larger ball,
plus the one enhancement via mass, is a different total than the minus
two diminishments (space and time) plus the mass energy gain for the
small ball, in sum total the small ball will reach the giant plate
first"... "believe me the windbreaker is talking a mile a minute
trying to beat the time on the clock only a few seconds left to go",
drones the announcer - wait a minute! the windbreaker has decided not
to risk it, the windbreaker is striking the clock now"! At the same
instant, the ding is heard, the windbreaker had slammed a hand on the
button and held it there, grimacing, so close was the call before
countdown to zero before overtime. Motionless, the windbreaker sits
in rest state pun fully intended, The windbreaker lets loose a slight
smile letting those who know the pun was as bad as intended, several
out there however lost their thinking in midsentence.

Notwithstanding the kidsentence hiccup for a one point bonus, two
penalties are deducted for going overtime. At this point in the match,
the two contestants are more or less neck and neck for the sybollic pot
of gold under the moderator's feet.

It is the leaner's turn, connecting two midsentences together to start
a new one, this time the leaner taking some time to get into it, and
does - the leaner had actually stalled on the announcer's voice which
had gone up two full octaves generating false excitement when the
windbreaker began to really talk fast to finish the last round making
stop in thought in midsentence surge through the room in a way that
could be tasted in the consciousness.

"And so" begins the leaner as if anew, "because this is a free society,
I issue a challenge to anyone to be first to add subtract multiply and
divide all the gravities to see if light travelling toward us red shifts
because of gravity not time, and to see if an increasing rate of expansion
in the universe is due to a diminishing power in the gravity constant or
if instead the expanding expansion rate is due to increasing gravity
effects the further and further away back to a time when accelaration
apparent effects began to exceed over apparent gravity effects causing
red shift". Bing. The leaner abruptly stands up and leaves the table.
This is correct. At the finish, a contest is always supposed to leave
questions to be answered by the next round of contestants who come
later as soon as the committee has organized a new contest if enough
new contestants are ready to make a challenge.

"But! what if! gravity alters gravity! what if! if the constant grows
less in more gravity! what if the amount the constant has diminished
by the time a body such as the Sun is squeezed into a black hole means
the black hole can diminish in size even a bit more, if so, where does
it stop, at what point is there a new physical constant identifying that
which underscores intrinsic gravitational variance. Well, good golly who
can follow that sentence, what I mean is, who can say". The leaner bangs
the button and steps away from the table, carefully leans forward, gently
lifts the tray with goodies on it, and carefully weaves out in a straight
line through the throng out through the main door to disappear, laughter
from the leaner continues to be heard from long distance until the second
door out the hotel onto main street is exited. You could tell the leaner
was gloating, but why, the pot of gold had not been won, yet.

Meanwhile, after hearing one point deducted for failing to mention the
two balls would not travel parallel the two would draw toward each other
the small moving more to the big brass ball by orders of magnetude in
distance proportionately - said the moderator in toneless quality -
the score goes to a tie - the windbreaker has rejoined the family at
the table. They cannot stay too long school re-opens tomorrow and this
small minded grade school is one that gives detentions to anyone tardy.

Already there is some pandemonium.

Leaners 2 and 3 have abruptly withdrawn from the contest, before even
competing. Leaner 2's pre-annouced breakthroughs in inflation theory
just are not going to cut it, today, and leaner 3's thought experiments
about dark energy has no inclusing whatever as to how gravity itself
modifies the view of space and time changing inexorably the value
of the universal gravitational constant depending on how much space
and time, and intervening matter, is concidered in the scope of the
modifications.

Harry has also called it quits, leaning against the dolly elbow
propped on the stacks of documentation Harry has stalled contemplating
just how much the relativistic increase in gravity constant in the giant
brass ball will influence the speed of its journey to the giant plate
as it attracts Earth toward it, but, because of mass differential in
terms of kenetic inertial size, the brass ball will accelarate more in
a straight line in in the extra tug, rather than the Earth, perhaps.

Meanwhile people are literally crawling over the announcer trying to
speak into the mouth mike believing they already have the answers. The
announcer's hairpiece (for the hairbrained look) is jostled, falls to
the floor amongst the grapeseeds and footprints.

The remaining contestant, having broken free of the constaints of
customs, has been listening to the drone announcing all along, and
just simply turns around and heads back to Mars, a ranch in Texas,
figuring the lasso strings in ten dimensions probably would have
lost anyway, expecially since it was not yet known how cosmic
strings might be able to lasso.

The lassoing strings this contestant along with snake hips the assistant
was going to introduce into the contest relied on dark energy and missing
mass as prerequisite components when tied to the big bang but when all of
the components are up for grabs, how can a lasso rope a steer let alone
a stray bull or two roaming the constellations. "Yeee Hawww! got one!"
suddenly shouts snake hips back at home, except, this is out in the
corral using a carbon rope made of twisted nanotubes drawn out in
twisting threads as long as you like. "Twisting cosmic strings is
a whole new contest!", declares snake hips, already planning the
trip from Mars to the next competition.

Greydon Moore
Ottawa March 23/2004
Writing time 6 hours Mon evening Mar 22 - Tues day Mar 23/2004